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"Big girl" bedtime

Three nights ago I took a big step in what I hoped would be a blessing to our family. For months now I had wanted to do this, but continued to make exceptions or just gave in to what was easiest (at the time).  Many moms out there are familiar with the show "Supernanny" and its star, Jo Frost. Some of her techniques may be controversial, but I really believe in many of them.  Well, on Sunday night I decided to implement one of her techniques in the life of our family. It's called the Stay-in-bed Technique. In our home, we just call it the "Big girl bedtime". 

For as long as Olivia has slept in her own bed we have always tucked her in, then laid with her until she would fall asleep. If you don't have kids you may be wondering what the problem with that is. After years of doing this EVERY night in addition to her waking up several times in the night in the last month, I decided something needed to change in our family's routine.  Now that I'm a mom of two kids my days are much busier.  By the time we've gotten both kids in bed and asleep Scott and I are so exhausted we usually go straight to bed. This past month has especially been hard on Scott because I'm an incredibly deep-sleeper, so I'm not the one up with Olivia several times a night. She insists that he go in her room with her and sleep there. By the time she falls back asleep and he is able to tip-toe back to our bedroom it seems she's awake again. (Thank God for my husband! I would be a walking zombie if I had to get up with her as much as he has!)

So, the technique begins 30minutes prior to bedtime. You give them a warm, relaxing bath. Read bedtime stories, pray together, then hugs and kisses, and say goodnight. The first time she gets out of the bed, I take her back, say, "It's bedtime sweetie", and leave. The next time she gets out I take her back to her bed, say, "It's bedtime", and leave. After that, I say nothing at all, but continue to take her back to her bed.  

The first night we did this, it took an hour of crying, screaming for me, knocking on the walls, and an incredibly stressed out mom! It's been a long time since I was in a constant state of prayer for an hour straight! I literally cried out to God for help, patience especially! After an hour, she was asleep, and through all of the fit-throwing, Judah never woke! THAT'S how I know God was blessing what we were doing for Olivia and for the rest of us. The second night, she was asleep in 20 minutes with a few tears, but nothing major. Tonight, night three, not a single tear, only a plea of "would you leave the door open and turn the bathroom light on, mommy?" Ah, I'm just amazed. Most parenting methods say it takes anywhere from 3-7 days to work. To make this even more incredible for us, Olivia only woke up once the first night, and once last night, and both nights went straight back to bed (alone) very easily! Tonight, I'm praying she won't wake at all.

Not everyone will agree with this method, but I truly believe it's what is best for our entire family.  Olivia needs the confidence to be able to go to sleep on her own.  She also needs at least 12 hours of sleep, and because her body was forming a really unhealthy habit by waking up so many times throughout the night, she was really starting to feel the effects of it.  Scott and I also need a couple hours of peace at night before having to go to sleep. It's so hard to go straight to sleep without some time to relax and enjoy some quiet time together. It certainly made the days all run together, making it extremely hard to function and "be in the moment" as parents! Honestly, the last 3 nights have been great to chill out and relax, but the best part of this new "routine" has been seeing the confidence my baby girl has gained in knowing Mommy & Daddy love her, we pray for her, and she's big enough to fall asleep on her own (and get herself back to sleep on her own should she wake in the night).

Comments

  1. Stephanie WrightSeptember 14, 2011 at 12:14 PM

    Just an update on how last night went. Olivia woke up once-according to Scott! ;)- but went straight back to her back and feel asleep on her own, no problem. I'm finally starting to get over the "dreading her getting out of her bed several times a night" feeling!

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