Many of you that know I'm married to a movie addict. He could watch a movie every night if I wanted to! Last night we decided on "Brothers" with Tobey Maguire, Jake Gyllenhaal, and Natalie Portman. It's about a husband (with 2 little girls) who's a Marine, goes off to Afghanistan, gets shot out of his helicopter, and held in a cave somewhere. Meanwhile, back home everyone thinks he's dead, they have the funeral, etc, etc. Enter the Marine's brother. He takes care of his nieces and sister-in-law until they start having feelings for each other. Well, not really feelings, they just come to each other in loneliness and weakness, and kiss. Then, the Marine in Afghanistan escapes and comes home (totally changed of course because of what he's seen-and done). Think Pearl Harbor.
Now, there are a ton of war movies out there, and the number of movies focused on the war in Afghanistan and Iraq, but for some reason this one got to me in a different way. I've been extra sensitive to the issues surrounding American soldiers lately. I think part of this is because I've found myself being asked questions by Canadians about certain things having to do with war and our country. They will never understand how something like 9/11 affected our entire country. Anyway, many aspects of this movie had me in tears. I don't want to spoil the ending, but one of the last scenes I found myself struggling to breath. I was literally crying and holding my breath at the same time. More on this later. I began a battle in my mind and struggled NOT to ask the question that many ask God "Why is this stuff happening everyday around the world. It's not fair." I know the answer: Satan is still very much alive all over the world. Still, my heart literally broke for people. Literally, my chest was aching. Partly for the young girls in the movie because of course any mother would feel this way. I automatically started envisioning how lost I would be if something ever happened to Scott. Then I began thanking God for my family. A movie like this immediately makes you feel so small and insignificant. You also start to understand how ridiculous your "problems" are compared to so many. I began thinking about how blessed I am.
That scene I mentioned earlier reminded me of a situation with my Dad that I'd like to think never happened. I felt for him. My heart broke thinking about the words I slung at him. I read a tweet the other day that said, "A few thoughtless words can require hundreds or thousands of words to correct". Wow! SO TRUE. We all say things we regret. The Bible is full of verses warning us of our tongue. Proverbs is full of these warnings. Look up Proverbs 14:3, 15:4, 18:6, 21:23. These are some of the many. In fact, I was just writing an email to a friend of mine yesterday telling her about how many times I've said things to my own husband, the person I love the most on this earth, and regretted them. I'm guilty of this too often than I'd like to admit. As I laid in bed last night sobbing next to Scott, he listened. He prayed for me. And then some of the first words he spoke to me this morning were, "Pray about what we talked about last night, and how to reach out to your Dad". I am so blessed to have a husband that wants the best for me. One who loves me regardless of what I do, say, or my past. Today, I thank God for him, and my father who've loved me endlessly. It's time to reach out, correct my wrongs, and ask for forgiveness.
One of my favorite verses from a song is "break my heart for what breaks yours". This has been my prayer for a long time. It's easy for us to turn our eyes and ears from all the suffering in the world. I have this deep, deep need to pray for people. A hundred times a day it seems I'm thinking about people I know or have heard of that are suffering and struggling. When an ambulance or fire truck races past me while driving, my heart skips a beat, and I'm forced to hold my breath, hoping that no one is injured, but knowing the reality of many traffic and home accidents. I always ask God to be with them. This is something I hope my children will do when they get older also. I know many people with good intentions who become overwhelmed by all the hurt in the world. They look around and see so many needs that they feel helpless and do nothing at all. I try to remind them, even if you can't physically do something, prayer is one of the best, and most powerful, things you CAN do. If you don't feel this urgency or anxiety about people around you, ask God to give you a heart like His. But beware, you'll never be the same. My husband once said this in a sermon, "If you ask God to be a difference maker, you will forever be uncomfortable with the way things are". I love this. It's time to get out of our comfort zones and look around us for the needs we can attend to. Even just outside our front doors there are people hurting, lost, and in need. This challenges me, and I hope it will you too.
Now, there are a ton of war movies out there, and the number of movies focused on the war in Afghanistan and Iraq, but for some reason this one got to me in a different way. I've been extra sensitive to the issues surrounding American soldiers lately. I think part of this is because I've found myself being asked questions by Canadians about certain things having to do with war and our country. They will never understand how something like 9/11 affected our entire country. Anyway, many aspects of this movie had me in tears. I don't want to spoil the ending, but one of the last scenes I found myself struggling to breath. I was literally crying and holding my breath at the same time. More on this later. I began a battle in my mind and struggled NOT to ask the question that many ask God "Why is this stuff happening everyday around the world. It's not fair." I know the answer: Satan is still very much alive all over the world. Still, my heart literally broke for people. Literally, my chest was aching. Partly for the young girls in the movie because of course any mother would feel this way. I automatically started envisioning how lost I would be if something ever happened to Scott. Then I began thanking God for my family. A movie like this immediately makes you feel so small and insignificant. You also start to understand how ridiculous your "problems" are compared to so many. I began thinking about how blessed I am.
That scene I mentioned earlier reminded me of a situation with my Dad that I'd like to think never happened. I felt for him. My heart broke thinking about the words I slung at him. I read a tweet the other day that said, "A few thoughtless words can require hundreds or thousands of words to correct". Wow! SO TRUE. We all say things we regret. The Bible is full of verses warning us of our tongue. Proverbs is full of these warnings. Look up Proverbs 14:3, 15:4, 18:6, 21:23. These are some of the many. In fact, I was just writing an email to a friend of mine yesterday telling her about how many times I've said things to my own husband, the person I love the most on this earth, and regretted them. I'm guilty of this too often than I'd like to admit. As I laid in bed last night sobbing next to Scott, he listened. He prayed for me. And then some of the first words he spoke to me this morning were, "Pray about what we talked about last night, and how to reach out to your Dad". I am so blessed to have a husband that wants the best for me. One who loves me regardless of what I do, say, or my past. Today, I thank God for him, and my father who've loved me endlessly. It's time to reach out, correct my wrongs, and ask for forgiveness.
One of my favorite verses from a song is "break my heart for what breaks yours". This has been my prayer for a long time. It's easy for us to turn our eyes and ears from all the suffering in the world. I have this deep, deep need to pray for people. A hundred times a day it seems I'm thinking about people I know or have heard of that are suffering and struggling. When an ambulance or fire truck races past me while driving, my heart skips a beat, and I'm forced to hold my breath, hoping that no one is injured, but knowing the reality of many traffic and home accidents. I always ask God to be with them. This is something I hope my children will do when they get older also. I know many people with good intentions who become overwhelmed by all the hurt in the world. They look around and see so many needs that they feel helpless and do nothing at all. I try to remind them, even if you can't physically do something, prayer is one of the best, and most powerful, things you CAN do. If you don't feel this urgency or anxiety about people around you, ask God to give you a heart like His. But beware, you'll never be the same. My husband once said this in a sermon, "If you ask God to be a difference maker, you will forever be uncomfortable with the way things are". I love this. It's time to get out of our comfort zones and look around us for the needs we can attend to. Even just outside our front doors there are people hurting, lost, and in need. This challenges me, and I hope it will you too.
Oh Steph, first of all I don't think I can ever watch that movie. I can completely relate to you in terms of the prayer you prayed. 2 years ago I prayed that exact same line and haven't been the same since. I realized just how much God's heart is breaking everyday if mine is breaking as much as it is. I love your challenge at the end, I think we all need a constant reminder to not get comfortable b/c that's not why we're here. You must have a pretty wise husband :)
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